A true story about eating dog food-

Disclaimer: This story is based on a true event and some may find it offensive…

Jim was a man of simple pleasures. His two golden retrievers, Abby and Quinn, were the light of his life. He’d often joke that they were better company than some people he knew. So, when he stumbled into Tractor supply store one sunny afternoon, he couldn’t resist going to the PET isle to look for some new treats. The store was a veritable paradise for pet owners. Shelves lined with chew toys, designer leashes, and beds fit for royalty. But what caught Jim’s eye were the treats. Not just any treats, these were treats with a “human grade” quality label. And the label boasted that they were made from the finest ingredients, natural essentials, Free range beef recipe, made with LOVE in the U.S.A.
Jim flipped the bag over and the goodness continued: If it isn’t good enough for us, it isn’t good enough for our pets! Our treats are human grade which means that we only use ingredients fit for human consumption. And when I read that I automatically reviewed the ingredient list which was in a much smaller font. With squinted eyes I was able to make out the work Organic… That was it. I was buying these for my fur babies. Jim looked at the price tag and hesitated. The price was astronomical. But then he imagined Abby and Quinn savoring these gourmet delights, their tails wagging in approval. He bought the bag, feeling like a benevolent king bestowing gifts upon his loyal subjects.
Back home, Jim presented the treats to his dogs. Abby sniffed hers delicately, while Quinn practically inhaled his. Jim decided to try one himself. After all, if it was good enough for Abby and Quinn, it was good enough for him. The treat looked innocent enough, a sausage shaped treat. Jim took a tentative bite. It tasted like a cross between a Slim Jim and cardboard. Not exactly Michelin-star cuisine, but he’d had worse. For the rest of the day, Jim felt fine. No sudden urge to chase squirrels or roll in mud. But as he settled into bed that night, he noticed a strange rumbling in his stomach. It was like a tiny marching band had taken up residence inside him and it was getting ready to transverse his large intestine. That night Jim woke up to a symphony of discomfort. His stomach churned like a washing machine on the spin cycle. He stumbled to the bathroom, clutching his belly. And then it hit him, the dreaded “human grade” treat revenge. Jim spent that night alternating between the couch and the bathroom. Abby and Quinn watched him with concern, their eyes saying, “We warned you, buddy.” Jim wondered if they secretly enjoyed his misery. Maybe they had a secret doggy chat group mocking him: “Humans are so gullible. One taste of our treats, and they’re toast!”
As the hours dragged on, Jim’s condition worsened. He Googled his symptoms, convinced he was suffering from some rare exotic disease. The search results ranged from “mild indigestion” to “you’re probably dying.” Jim decided to stick with the indigestion theory. It so happened that there was a full moon that night, so he used that as a distraction from his “seat” in the bathroom. And Jim was no stranger to stomach distress. It was only a year ago that he had a colonoscopy and the prep for that made this situation seem like a piece of cake… And just when Jim thought that things couldn’t get worse. They did. Jim’s stomach pains intensified to a full-scale level 10+ and he had shooting pains throughout his intestines. Suddenly there was a large “clink” of something hitting the porcelain bowl. And by the light of the full moon Jim discovered that the cherry pit that he swallowed at the family reunion when he was 9-year-old was no longer a part of him! And within minutes that pain started again… And the sound this time was a much louder “clank”. And this time Jim discovered that the quarter that he swallowed on a dare when he was 12 years old was now in the “piggy bank”! And from outside the bathroom door Jim could hear Abby and Quinn whining. He was sure that they too were concerned with Jim’s well being. Weary, Jim looked out the window at the full moon and suddenly remembered that the name of the treats was “Full Moon”! What kind of mean trick was this?
But it was serious. Jim’s stomach was staging a rebellion. By morning, Jim was a shadow of his former self. He’d lost five pounds (mostly water weight) and developed a newfound appreciation for plain rice. Abby and Quinn sat by his side; their eyes filled with pity. Or was it amusement? Jim couldn’t tell. Finally, the storm passed. Jim emerged from the bathroom, weak but victorious. He vowed never to touch another “human grade” treat again. Abby and Quinn seemed to nod in agreement, as if saying, “Stick to kibble, buddy. It’s safer.” And so, Jim learned a valuable lesson: Love for his dogs was unwavering, but his stomach had its limits. And so, Jim’s stomach became a legend in the dog world. A loyal owner and now hero who’d eaten a dog treat “treasure” and survived.